Drinking it away
by shutupandsleepwithmedave
Summary: Sadstuck! Roxy has a near death experience and sees the beta kids.


You are sitting at your computer, your taste buds burning, your head swirling, and your heart breaking. You reread the messages on your laptop over and over again, each time refilling your never empty martini glass. Each time filling more and more pathetic. _Keep drinking, it'll go away. The feeling will go away, he will go away. _Maybe if you drank enough you would forget. Forget about what he said, forget about what you said, forget it all.

Your throat was burning.

You should stop.

That's what he would say.

Well fuck what he would say!

You throw the glass and chug from the bottle, your eyes watering and black mascara running down your red cheeks. You stood up and when you realized the bottle was empty. Your legs felt like chicken wire, flimsy and unstable. Your bare feet scooted across the cold hard wood floor and kicked pink cats out of the way. You opened your door and heard your computer ding that you got another message. You glared at the computer and walked out of the room.

TT: Roxy, are you there? I read the conversation between you and Dirk.

TT: Is everything okay?

TT: Roxy?

You stumbled down the hallway and got to the stairs. You put all your weight onto the railing as you slowly descended the steps.

TT: Hey Rox… I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it. I was already mad and I just sort of…snapped?

TT: Rolal?

You began to see doubles. The steps started to split into twos. You furrowed your eyebrows and frowned more. You shake your head and take another step.

TT: Okay I know you're mad at me, but really Rox. At least pretend you are listening to me right now so I know I didn't royally fuck up.

You miss a step and slide down half the stairs on your knees causing them to bruise and a hiss of pain escapes your lips. You shakily stand up on sore knees and try walking to the kitchen. _Drink away that pain too, soon it'll all be gone. _

TT: Roxy, It seems that you are not answering me. I will report this to Dirk.

You seem to be floating to the kitchen, you only remember bumping your shoulder on the door frame as you look through the normally full cabinets.

For once you aren't disappointed.

You snatch a full bottle of Vodka and instead of trying to open it you smash the neck on the counter top and drink from the jagged edges of the bottle, feeling it cut your black lips.

You pant after you drink and hold the glass to your chest feeling your body begin to shake in sobs as you slide to the floor with the shards.

TT: Okay, so just a sorry isn't going to help anything.

TT: Hal says you aren't answering him either. I'm coming down there Roxy. I'll be there in Five minutes.

TimeasTestified [TT] Has disconnected.

You slowly stand back up and feel the glass break the skin of your feet as she shuffle back to the stair case. You take a few steps up the stairs and take a few swings from your broken bottle, each time throwing your head back in a dramatic affect you didn't know you were even doing.

But almost to the top of the steps you take one more swing and your already off balanced body falls backwards. Gravity taking you with it as it pulled you down. The Vodka falls out of your clinched fist as your head finally makes contact with the hard wood of the step. But you don't seem to stop, your body flip causing a strange pop to come from your neck. You fall sideways and hit your hip on something. Pain is thundering through your entire body by this point and you can't stop it. You can't drink this pain away, for the first time in your life you wish you hadn't tried to drink it away. You should have done what Dirk or Jade always tried to get you to do. To stop.

To late now, You finally hit the floor in front of your door when you realized you really where broken. Your knees and feet hurt. You couldn't move your neck but you knew it wasn't broken. Your hip ached and your arm felt like a bolder had landed on it. You felt light headed and sticky. With your cheek on the floor you could feel a warm liquid hardly touch it. Did your vodka spill? Fuck. _How am I going to…explain this…to…to...diiiii…._

The front door opened and you could hardly make out yellow in your blurry vision.

"_Roxy!"_

Who said that? You felt something wrap around you and your head lulled back as you felt as if being lifted off the ground. You groaned at the pain shooting from your back.

"Shh, rox its gonna be ok. Its gonna be ok I promise."

You heard some one say frantically.

"I'm sorry. Im so sorry. Fuck Roxy I never meant to hurt you im sorry."

The word got farther and father away until you started to see black blotches. You didn't realize how cold you were and you could smell iron, strongly. Blood. It hadn't been the vodka you felt, it was your head. It scared you to know you didn't care.

The darkness you kept seeing seemed to be calling for you. It had a friendly voice. Warm. Nice. Familiar.

A face started to form in front of your eyes. Purple eyes. You listened more closely to the voice and realized it wasn't welcoming you, it was telling you to leave. Black lips and a round face came to your vision. Mom? You hadn't seen her sense the game ended.

"Turn around, Roxy!" She yelled.

Looking closer you could see not only was she there, but the rest of the kids. But they weren't older..they were just kids. Dave, Rose, John, and Jade. White T-shirts.

"You aren't aloud to come here Roxy!" She screamed at you. Wow, not even your own mother wanted you.

"You can't it isn't your time." She was closer now. Only inches from your face and her cold arms wrapped around you. You looked around confused. Dave stepped up looking so young and innocent, before the game. His shades were gone and you could tell the only fight he knew were the strifes. But he still knew.

"You beat the game Lalonde. You've died before. But you can't this time. Not when you have come so far."

John stepped up beside Dave.

"Do what we weren't aloud to do, Roxy."

Jade was next and her cheeks were also flooding over with tears.

"We were born to die in the game Rox, You have a chance. You, Dirk, Jane, and Jake." John wrapped his arm around her and he began to shake trying to stop his own tears.

You saw these children. When you met them, they had all died countless times and never gave up. They had no family. They killed and fought. Gave up their lives. Above their heads you saw things you hadn't seen before.

John playing the piano with his dad, both smiling. Then the scene changes and John is covered in black gunk with a hammer, smashing into imps with the face of a soldier.

Jade is playing with her Dog, petting him and Chatting with her friends, then it changes again, she is trying to catch John as a ball of fire hurls at them. She is finally able to shove him out of the way as her body is crushed by the power of the fire ball, killing her.

Rose and Dave, chatting it up, talking to each other about their mom and bro. Laughing about the challenges they are both forced to deal with. Her mother's wizards and his Bro's puppets. And this time you almost look away when you see them on their death beds. Derse surrounding them as they sat in front of the tumor. The timer ticking down.

"_Rose?" _His voice was scared_._

"_yeah?.." _She looked up at him_**.**_

"_..I'm scared…"_

"_I know… I am too.." _He held his hand out.

"_Could you…hold my hand?…" _Rose nods and takes a hold of his hand. They are both shaking.

"_Good bye, sis."_

"_Good by, Brother."_

And all you can see is the timer hit 0 and their timelines went black with the sound of something exploding and strangled and heart ranching screams of the young teenagers.

Your eyes snap open and all you see is white. You choked on your own sobs. A hand on yours tightened.

"Roxy?"

You look up and see a worried Dirk.

"I'm sorry, Dirk."


End file.
